Channing Tatum- Lev Harris
I know what you’re thinking.
What. A. Babe.
Rewind back to his first movie appearance in Coach Carter. Those sweaty biceps. That gormless face. Dreamboat.
So now that I have your attention, I wish to address the big fat fake tanned elephant in the room. Something that all straight guys feel the need to keep hidden; their man crush.
Everyone has (at least) one.
Back to the T-man to illustrate my own point. Forget for a minute that he looks like your quintessential Keez Movies porn star. Maybe my admiration stems from the fact that he’s something of an anomaly in Hollywood; the buffed up action man who can actually act. You look at your Chris Hemsworths and your Sam Worthingtons. What do you think? Yeah you have fucking huge abs but you can’t act for shit mate.
Tatum has proven, albeit in some questionable films, that he does possess real acting chops. Possibly his best performance comes in the little-known indie flick A Guide To Recognising Your Saints, where he absolutely steals the show, and the film feels far less powerful and engrossing whenever he steps out of frame (as sure a sign as any).
I’m not going to start saying that Tatum’s filmography is spotless. He has been in films that I don’t even need to have seen to know that they are terrible. Try The Vow, Step Up and its indomitable sequel Step Up: The Streets (he must’ve got rid of his agent before Step Up 3D came about). But aside from maybe Brad Pitt and Daniel Day Lewis, whose filmographies can you look at and not say are wholly absent of clangers?
So yeah, Tates has also strutted his stuff in a couple of recent Sodebergh flicks Haywire and Side Effects. And, hey, if its good enough for Stevie, it’s good enough for me. And just to show his versatility, he can do comedy too, with roles in 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike. It’s easy to hate someone like Tatie boy, after all he is such a greased up easy target, but I’m not here just to provide a defence for my misplaced love for the guy.
Fundamentally, I’m here to tell all you lads out there that it’s okay to have a male crush. The secret is to be open about it. I know its hard, I know its painful, but it’s okay. Trust me. We’re here for each other. You won’t be laughed at, or shunned, and believe me, getting it out in the open will take the weight of the world off your shoulders. Come on boys, let’s bring it in.
And don’t even get me started on Ben Whishaw.